he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
