So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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