yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
