I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
