The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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