I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How's work?
Spinning.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
