Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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