We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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