I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
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my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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