I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
