Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about

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  (678): Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about http://tfl.nu/m34e
  Replies (32) Good night (7899) Bad night (1158)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy

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  (301): I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy http://tfl.nu/508u
  Replies (16) Good night (4001) Bad night (927)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.

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  (617): I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw. http://tfl.nu/9aqz
  Replies (17) Good night (4794) Bad night (1093)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

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  (231): OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ma89
  Replies (80) Good night (2474) Bad night (15603)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.

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  (860): She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it. http://tfl.nu/dkuo
  Replies (14) Good night (3734) Bad night (1384)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.

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  (641): We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard. http://tfl.nu/xmhj
  Replies (12) Good night (4419) Bad night (1162)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...

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  (443): told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet... http://tfl.nu/9yno
  Replies (6) Good night (2974) Bad night (1247)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution

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  (703): Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution http://tfl.nu/2lwu
  Replies (6) Good night (3219) Bad night (1089)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.

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  (719): it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using. http://tfl.nu/4is0
  Replies (6) Good night (1314) Bad night (3249)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

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  (360): I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/iiw2
  Replies (5) Good night (1732) Bad night (610)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?

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  (541): Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am? http://tfl.nu/ak1s
  Replies (10) Good night (1696) Bad night (559)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.

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  (563): I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word. http://tfl.nu/iv5v
  Replies (9) Good night (1020) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.

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  (720): Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality. http://tfl.nu/zwr4
  Replies (0) Good night (491) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.

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  (314): I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious. http://tfl.nu/b9k8
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...

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  (440): he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month... http://tfl.nu/b4al
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (1021)

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