Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.

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  (412): Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head. http://tfl.nu/0n78
  Replies (114) Good night (8779) Bad night (1319)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions

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  (318): This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions http://tfl.nu/jkxb
  Replies (27) Good night (840) Bad night (4133)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now

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  (815): we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now http://tfl.nu/t0uo
  Replies (12) Good night (601) Bad night (6215)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)

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  (303): Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!) http://tfl.nu/z6cg
  Replies (49) Good night (8223) Bad night (1277)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets

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  (510): I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets http://tfl.nu/m0gr
  Replies (6) Good night (1694) Bad night (916)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.

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  (973): Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality. http://tfl.nu/dmqi
  Replies (9) Good night (2123) Bad night (1025)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.

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  (919): Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok. http://tfl.nu/xw7f
  Replies (7) Good night (2839) Bad night (645)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.

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  (416): You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it. http://tfl.nu/a4tp
  Replies (6) Good night (3056) Bad night (1333)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."

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  (480): We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor." http://tfl.nu/95x9
  Replies (4) Good night (3303) Bad night (648)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(

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  (419): She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :( http://tfl.nu/482z
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (793)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.

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  (936): We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by. http://tfl.nu/7uma
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (510)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  You pretty much did tho

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  (248): Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum (1-248): You pretty much did tho http://tfl.nu/fp9x
  Replies (1) Good night (813) Bad night (302)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.

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  (832): Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard. http://tfl.nu/w1ic
  Replies (2) Good night (625) Bad night (311)
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  (415): View more from California

  Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?

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  (415): Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'? http://tfl.nu/ngfc
  Replies (2) Good night (783) Bad night (303)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.

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  (561): Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ktkw
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (223)

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