Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
