Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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