Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Put some vodka in it
put some vodka in it
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions