quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
