As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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