my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize