just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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