Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize