Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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