my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
