Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
