no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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