I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
