I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
