it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
