This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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