They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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