Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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