lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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