I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
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not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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