I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize