i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize