Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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