Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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