I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
