A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize