I want to walk on stilts...naked
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
