rhymes with "ouble enetration"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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