Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need help removing her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
