Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
