I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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