Dual....:-)
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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