that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
