is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
