70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
