just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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