My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
