wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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