Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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