Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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