apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dear god my vagina.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
