Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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