I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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