he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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