Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
no, he came in my armpit
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
