He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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