They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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